Hipster

How Hip Are You?
Mila, you're hip with the cool crew

No one ever accused you of being boring. A free thinker in everything you do — from what you wear to what you read to what you believe in — you're not easily swayed by fleeting fads and fashions. Instead, you like to challenge convention and make your own rules. This means you're always one step ahead of the game...or deliberately disregarding it.

But just because you march to the beat of your own drummer doesn't mean you do it alone. You surround yourself with stimulating people who are always asking questions and looking for new ways of doing things. And a motley crew that's always on the move is a perfect fit for a maverick like you.

Free thinkers like you are a special breed. Staying ahead of the curve is easier when you’ve got a phone with a pay-as-you-go plan that changes with you.

Underneath the Surface

Song of the moment: Underneath It All by No Doubt

I wonder what the world would be like if everyone was judged by their inner beauty, and everything else didn't matter. Here are some poems I found that I think a lot of people can relate to... it makes you wonder if our outer image is just a mask that we wear to hide our true selves.



"I don't see myself as beautiful
I don't know what I'm doing here
I'm ugly as Hell
I'm paranoid that I smell
My friends probably hate me
I hate being me
I wish I was pretty
I wish I could see
What's inside
My inner beauty


But all I can see
Is what's on the outside
A face that I hate
A truth that I hide
I don't understand
How anyone can stand
To look me in the eye
And not want to run and hide
The only thing I know
Is that I hate my life
I hate my reflection
And I'm scared to death of rejection
Feeling so self-conscience I've never taken chances
I hate the possibility
Of receiving hateful glances
I hate my face
I hate my hair
I hate noticing people's stares
Will I ever accept myself for me?
Will I ever learn to see
What's inside
My inner beauty "

By Alishia

-------

Inner beauty is something so glamorous
It's mere presence is seen
Not //all// see this presence
Outside can be very decieving
Inside never lies
I saw you today
You are truly beautiful
But like I often do
You were worrying about outside things
I wanted to shout at you
Instead I looked
I thought
You must feel the same way when I worry
About outside
You think I'm beatuiful
As I view you
And I sigh
I know how you feel
I comfort
Because I want to make the pain of outside go away
I know how it feels

By Sungoddess

-------

Remember,you said, the body's a prison.
As you watch distantly while I peel my skin
back in layers. My blood covers me like warm
satin like sanctuary.

And I peel my skin back in layers
each movement becomes a ritual warm like satin.
And the ritual becomes my sanctuary from my body.
My prison

where each movement becomes a ritual.
You told me once, I was beautiful underneath
my skin; my body; my prison.
You told me once that no one is truly free.

You told me once, I was beautiful
every now and then but I remember underneath
my skin my body's a prison.
And maybe you are the warden

every now and then.
But i can have my moments of freedom.
Maybe you are the warden offering me the
sanctuary of a locked jail cell.

But I can have my moments of freedom when
my blood covers me like warm satin like the
sanctuary of a locked jail cell where each
movement is a ritual. Yes I remember the body's
a prison and no one is truly free.
No, no one is truly free.

By "Alone in this"

-------

Whether your "inner truth/self" is the most beautiful part of yourself, or it's the part of yourself you try to hide with the use of artificial beauty and make-up products, it's still half of what makes us who we are. Maybe more.

Me and Lorraine's version of The Grudge

Song of the moment: Drive by Incubus

Lorraine and I usually have nothing to do in our Photography class, so we usually fill that void by talking, playing hangman, and PRETENDING TO BE SCARY ASIAN CHICKS FROM MOVIES LIKE THE GRUDGE!



Hahahaha. Her lips make her look like a scary fish with long hair.



Now this one's scary. It's like freaky Exorcist shit.



AHHHHH! IT'S HIPPO!!!1!!1!one!



We took a picture of each other taking pictures of each other. haha.

---

Hmm... my Blogger is somehow turning into a picture-Blog-thinger-majiger. What the fuck. I should stop posting pictures and making those who are on Dial-up hate me. Guar.

My butt is bigger than J-Lo's

Song of the moment: Gotta Have Faith by George Michael (gay men are hot)

My friend, Jeremy, wouldn't believe me that my butt is in fact bigger than J-lo's. So I took a picture and RUBBED IT IN HIS FACE.



Hah. I win again.

Yet another Survey (Boredom sucks?)

Song of the moment: Some Filipino Rap Song by Some Filipino Rap Artist

1. What time do you get up? - I usually wake up 10 minutes before I leave for school, which is about 20 minutes before school starts. (7:00-7:10)

2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? - WTF? I'd just have lunch with whoever has money to pay for me. harhar.

3. Gold or silver? - Gold.

4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? - Saw

5. What is your favorite TV show? - ANTM (for me to know for you to figure out)

6. What did you have for breakfast? - Didn't have breakfast. I had a banana, an apple, and an oatmeal bar for brunch, though.

7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? - The person where I got this survey from. Mainly because he smells. Haha.

8. What/who inspires you? - Aesthetic and inner beauty, challenging things.

9. What is your middle name? - Mendador. Family name.

10. Beach, City or Country? - City. Big city. (SOMEONE JUST TAKE ME OUT OF THIS HLL HOLE!)

11. Favorite ice cream? - Cookie Dough/anything with caramel.

12. Butter, plain or salted popcorn? - Extra butter and salt. >=D

13. Favorite colors? - Red, black, and white.

14. What kind of car do you drive? - I'm too poor and lazy to have my license, much less a car.

15. Favorite sandwich? - Anything with pickles.

16. What characteristic do you despise? - Conceitedness (hah. I'm one to talk), uncontrollable immaturity, ignorance to one's idiocy, anything that's annoying, really.

17. Favorite flower - Carnations.

18. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? - Italy. Love those Italian men.

19. What color is your bathroom? - White.

20. Favorite brand of clothing? - FCUK (French Connection of the United Kingdom), Babyphat, Rockawear, Guess.

21. Where would you like to retire to? - Manhattan.

22. Favorite day of the week? - Saturday or Sunday.... or just anytime there's no school. =
23. What did you do for your last birthday? - I think out to the movies? I forgot..

24. Where were you born? - Manila, Philippines. (REPRESENT! hah.)

25. Favorite sport to watch? - Basketball, yo.

26. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? - Satan?

27. Person you expect to send it back first? - Jebus.

28. what fabric detergent do you use - Uhh, my mom buys anything that's on sale. Filipino style, beeyotch.

29. day or night? - Night.

31. What is your shoe size? - Varies from 7 1/2.

32. Do you have any pets? - Plus or minus 5 parakeets, a samurai fish, and an older brother.

34. what is your favourite saying? - WTF, or "you smell".

34. What is your favorite book? - I read too many books to have a favorite. =
35. What is your favorite movie? - Donnie Darko

37. What is your nicknames? - (whoever wrote this has fairly bad grammar) Mil, Mila, Windmill, Mildew, Fiend, Cookie, Bitch, whatever people feel like calling me.

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD - Inferiority and intimidation.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD - Love.

FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK - "Never Ever" by All Saints, "A Whole New World" from Aladdin, "Santera" by Sublime, "Jaded" by Aerosmith

THE FIRST THING THAT YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU AWAKE IN THE MORNING? - School sucks school sucks school sucks school sucks HOLY SHIT ITS COLD school sucks school sucks I DON'T WANT TO GET UP ITS TOO COLD school sucks.

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? - Sometimes..

ROLLER COASTERS - - SCARY OR EXCITING? - Exciting. Sometimes a little too exciting. ;)

PEN OR PENCIL - Pen.

FUTURE SON'S NAME - Orion, Aidan, Daemon, Ares

FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME - Ceres, Circe, Athena, Harmonia, Maia, Rena, basically anything Greek.

FAVORITE FOODS - Anything dessert

DID YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? - Off and on.

CHOCOLATE OR STRAWBERRY?-- Chocolate!

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?- Luuuurve to.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - I used to not be able to go to sleep without my teddy..

STORMS? COOL OR SCARY?- Both. But it actually depends where you live... Californian storms are nothing compared to the tropical storms in Florida and the South Pacific--now THOSE are scary. x_o;

TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?- 2005 Cadillac Escalade (hah I wish)

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?- Gemini (which means I'm slightly schizophrenic), and my Chinese sign is the Rabbit (which means I'm "S.M.R.T." smart! hah.)

THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? - Candide by Voltaire

DO YOU EAT STEMS OFF BROCCOLI? - Yeahp. I luuuurve broccoli.

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM- A really old poster for Wild Arms 2 (shitty game), a calendar, random angel shit, a picture thinger

GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?- Usually half full. Usually.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE? - Snapple Apple!

ARE YOU LEFTY, RIGHTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS? - I'm right-handed, but the rest of me is ambidextrous.

WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?- My sister. Hahahaha.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF FLYING? - Nah, not really.

YOUR FAVORITE CLASS IN HIGH SCHOOL? - Photography

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CD THAT YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW? - The Sounds

DOG OR CAT? - Dog. I hate cats.

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ACTOR AND ACTRESS? - Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Rene Zellwegger, Sarah Jessica Parker (just because of Sex in the City), and... i dunno, it's hard to name them all.

DO YOU CRY AT MOVIES? - I cried the first 8 times I watched The Lion King.


Wow, that took me an hour to do... minus all the times I stood up and did something random, like watch tv for a half an hour.

What am I?

Song of the moment: Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden

I am an eternal swirling drain of love, mystery and confusion that grabs and takes hold of anything and anyone on its way, and brings it down with it; down in the blackhole of perplexity and inconsistency.

Eplore the world of art that inspire the mind and soul in order to motivate the citizenry to acknowledge beauty, for it brings such marvelosity that is indeed an aesthetic joy. It emboldens the spirit, just as it broadens the mind. . .

But when the attacks of controversy have reached the stinging eyes of the conservative, the crowds gather with hate and the mind has closed, the artist will know that she has done well. Eventually, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by cencorship, will realize the art for its beauty for the artist has indeed unveiled their blindfolds and introduced them to the deviant world of colors and the infinite possibilities it brings.




How would I know? For that was my experience. And I was enlightened.

The truth

Song of the moment: Spiderwebs by No Doubt

I wrote this letter to my Drama teacher explaining why I "have" to drop both Drama classes. All of this is true, except for my "mom's financial crisis" thing. I just used that lie as an alibi so that she'd let me drop her classes. The reason I wrote this letter as opposed of talking to her in person about it is the probable situation that I might end up exaggerating the truth in result of my own self-pity and maybe even start crying uncontrolably. I'm such an emotional girl it hurts.

Subject: Hi, Cathy it's Mil

I have to drop Drama 1 and 2 because I just got a temporary seasonal job at Gotchalks, and I want to work as many hours as I can so I can help my mom out in her current financial crisis.

Also, as you may have noticed the last time I was in the Drama 2 class, I was more unsociable than usual and my performance was not one of my best. I've been struggling with the class since the beginning of the year not because it's too hard for me, but because I still haven't gotten accustomed to the people in it yet and I'm constantly battling my limit on patience. I'm not used to being in such an active class where I practically have no real friends or confidants to whom I feel comfortable socializing with on a daily basis.

After I performed my monoluge last week, I was quietly crying to myself as I tried my best to watch the other's work in progress performances. It's hard for me to be myself in that class, or to express my true feelings. I don't know if you've noticed, but last year, I was a completely different person in Drama 1 as opposed to the days when I had Drama 2. I feel like I don't have a friend in Drama 2 who I can really relate to or have a relationship with in which there consists a true, mutual bond.

Aside from my emotional problems in class, I'm also going through problems in my home in which I would rather that speak of, but all of the stressfull elements at home and at school is taking its toll on me and dropping Drama in general will help ease the pain that I'm going through.

I'm sorry I can't talk to you about this in person, for I might start crying while I tell my story and end up not making any sense at all. Thanks for your time and I'm sorry for letting Leiland and that girl from Drama one who needed a scene partner down.


The truth in short and honest cruelty, I just simply hated everyone in the Drama 2/3/4 class. I, of course, couldn't say that in the letter, so I just expanded the short version and took out the "hate" part of it. I know she never would have let me drop the class if I simply told her I wasn't having fun in it and I don't feel like taking it anymore because everyone in it sucks. I also made myself look really weak and vulnerable, so she HAS to let me drop the class now.

Boredom = PICTURES!

Song of the moment: Some Korean rap song by Tashannie

I was experimenting with my digital camera tonight while I was waiting for my sister to deposit her check at Wells Fargo. I realised that if you take a picture and move the camera while it's flashing, it'll do this cool moving effect. These are the results:

(click image to zoom)





When I got home, I decided to take more pictures of myself. Being conceited is fun. Yaaaayy!



Here are some random not-me pictures I took at/around the Boardwalk:








Damn I'm talented. (And dare I yet again say conceited?) Hahahahaha.
>:D

Hot 7-11 guy

Song of the moment: Drive by Incubus

I'm being a teenie bopper for talking about this, but fuck it.

There's a really hot guy that works at the 7-11 on my street. I sometimes just walk there and get a fruit V8 drink to see his royal hotness. He kind of reminds me of Travis from Blink 182, except hotter. *drool*

Anyways, about today: I left the house around 3ish, took the bus downtown, and ran around the Boardwalk area chasing the sun as it sets, attempting to take the pictures I need for my Photography class. I managed to take 3 really good pictures, and afterwards, I went to the arcade and played Beatmania where this nerdy Asian guy got all excited just because I was good at Beatmania and DDR. He was like, "DROOLZ YOU ARE A GIRL AND YOU PLAY BEMANI WELL. WILL YOU MARRY ME?" What a moron. I hate those types of guys: gamers who hunt for girls who are also gamers just so they can finally get layed. So sad.

Afterwards, my sister and I went to the mall where we went to a million different stores to get applications (for her). After we stopped by Hot Dog on a Stick where I got some really cheap fries, we left. We were on our way home til I told her to stop by 7-11 so I can gawk at the hot 7-11 guy (Brett). As I walked in, I saw him talking to this cute little Mexican boy and when I lined up to pay for my stuff, he told the boy to go away and asked me how I was doing. I drooled, said "fine, how are you," payed for my shit, smiled, and walked away--almost tripping on my own feet as my knees became weak and wobbly. I'm pathetic, I know.

I should ask him out. Tee hee. *giggles like a little school girl*

A reminder from my past

Song of the moment: In This Diary by The Ataris

A guy IMed me this afternoon and reminded me an incident from my past that shows how superficial people can be: especially me. I did a horrible thing to my old friend, Miyu (real name David) two years ago that I should never have forgotten. I let other people influence me. People who I thought were my friends back then got me to think that David, a beautiful person at heart, was someone to be watching out for just because of his physical appearance. It was wrong of me to let them change my opinion about him, and it was even more wrong of me to jump on the bandwagon and ultimately treat David as they treated him: they acted as if David was this rabid animal who didn't deserve friends. After they used him, they judged him and eventually left him in the dust.

I have been a bitch to a lot of people, but I don't regret it--except for David's case. He didn't deserve it. And I know he and his cousin (who IMed me, asking why I was so horrible to him) won't read this, but I am writing about it to remind me how people can be blind to the beauty that is inside those that are unseen from the outside. David was an incredible friend and confidant, and I am an idiot to have ever ended my friendship with him.

View the old conversation I had with David's cousin posted in my old blogger.